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The Mother Support Group

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Role Reversal... [21 Sep 2004|08:26pm]

>.> This community hasn't really been alive lately, but since I'm still a member I figured I could post this here.

My mother got a face lift today. I'm really unhappy about it, but I can't really do anything. I mean, it's her life, and I don't really have any right to say differently. I just don't want to come home and not see her. She assured me that it wasn't going to be a huge difference, just tightening up the saggy bits and stuff, but still it really bothers me. I guess it's not as bad as her getting botox, though. She only mentioned that once a long time ago and the idea freaked me out.

I'm not really sure why it bothers me so much. I obviously can't see it from her view because I'm only eighteen, not forty-seven and sagging. I don't know when I'm going home next, but by the time I do she'll probably be all healed and stuff. I wonder if I'm wrong to be bothered by it if it'll make her happy. The thing is, I've always thought she was beautiful. Not like twenty-five beautiful, but she has a kind face and a bright smile and gorgeous hair. Maybe I just think that because she's my mother. I don't know.
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Quick question... [08 Jun 2004|09:04pm]

Yes, this community is sort of dead and such but....does anyone elses Mum talk to the REFRIGERATOR?

I ask out of pure statistical curiosity, of course.

(conversations currently happening)

"Oh well, do you have anything else? Really? Oh, that's dead. INTO THE GARBAGE! Oooh, what's this? YOU KILLED IT! MY ORANGES! Aaaand, oh. Well. I think theres food under this mould...ah. Garbage? No, no it looks salvageble. I think we can keep this. Can we keep this? Well, you know, they say if in doubt, toss it out. The chutney is DEAD. Long live the chutney! It needs to go out onto Queen Street with the perps. Let them feast on my dead chutney.
*singing now* Don't cook tonight, have chicken delight!"

"Are you talking to the fridge?"
"The fridge loves me. It provides me with food. We have a relationship."
"Ah. And you're...."
"Singing to it."
"Mish? Are you typing this up online?"
"Um. Noooo......."
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good quotation [11 Apr 2004|12:06pm]

"what fabrications they are, mothers. scarecrows, wax dolls for us to stick pins into, crude diagrams. we deny them an existence of their own, we make them up to suit ourselves--our own hungers, our own wishes, our own deficiencies."

Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin (p.94)
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Mothers [05 Apr 2004|07:51pm]

Today, April 5, is my mother's 79th birthday. I remembered this late Friday night, when it was too late to go buy anything for her. There is no mail service on Saturday or Sunday. Calling her is pretty much out because she's deaf and senile.

I hate buying birthday cards and Mother's Day cards for my mother. I bought her a birthday card today; I'll have to buy her a Mother's Day card next month. The thing is, there is no such thing as a Mother's Day card, or a birthday card, that is appropriate for my mother unless I feel like lying through my teeth. They all say things like, "You were always there for me, Mother." (She wasn't.) "You always made me feel special, Mother." (She didn't.) "Everytime I think of you, I get a warm, happy feeling inside" (I don't.)

Let me be completely, brutally honest about my mother. She did not physically abuse me. She mentally abused me. She told me every day that 1) Nobody liked me; 2) I had no friends; 3) It was no use calling anyone from my class at school because no one would want to talk to me; 4) I was fat (when I was 5 foot 7, weighed 115 lbs and you could see my ribs, I was still "fat"); 5) I was ugly; 6) I would never get a boyfriend, because no boy would ever want to go out with me; 7) I was "useless" and "good for nothing"; 8) I was clumsy; 9) She "almost died" giving birth to me (she made me feel guilty for even having been born); 10) I ruined her life by developing juvenile diabetes when I was five years old. Apparently I did this deliberately, just to make her life more difficult.
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Unselfishness takes weird forms sometimes... [05 Apr 2004|02:57pm]

My mom is nowhere near as social as I am.

You know the Myers-Briggs personality types? She's an ISTJ. I'm an ENFP. She always used to say she felt like a chicken raising a duckling.

But no matter what, no matter when, I could always bring a friend (or friends) home to hang out or for dinner. Despite how quiet she liked things to be, our house was always open to my friends, our table was always ready for an extra plate. I know she did that for me, and it made a HUGE difference in how I grew up.

The question is could I be that unselfish if I have a kid who's a real introvert. :)
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Mommmmm... [28 Mar 2004|10:11am]

Ok, so. Yesterday my mom went out to work and told me some stuff to do around the house. As she was walking out the door she said, "Oh, and it'd be really helpful if you could get the laundry done today, so we don't have to do it tomorrow." (Sunday is laundry day and I'm the one who does the laundry in our house.) So I figure, she means I should get the laundry done before I leave the house, which is at 5:00. So I throw the towels in the machine and start bugging my brother to bring his clothes to the hamper to get washed. Of course he complains, "Why aren't you doing it tomorrow?" No matter how many times I tell him, I can't do it tomorrow, Mom will get mad, I'm going to be out of the house tomorrow, he refuses to bring his clothes. So I shrug it off and decide to bug him about it a little later, when my parents are home and can back me up. So at about 2:00 Mom comes home--and proceeds to FLY OFF THE HANDLE that the laundry isn't done. Apparently "getting the laundry done today" is equivalent to "getting the laundry done before she gets back," which is a difference of oh, let's see...three hours?

Gah. I know my mother's wonderful, but sometimes she just doesn't get it.
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Muffins are love. [25 Mar 2004|08:09pm]

[ mood | warmed ]

My mum just walked into my room with a plate of very officially Low-Fat muffins. Being that she is a chocoholic, they are entirely filled with not-so-very-low-fat chocolate chips. Which is in direct violation of the sacred diet. She knows this and just winked when she gave them to me. I love her.

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[23 Mar 2004|06:28pm]

hey i just joined. My friend told me about this(you know who you are hahaha)
anyhoo me and my "mother problems" go WAY WAY WAY back..as far back to when i was 5 years old. We even had these family base therapy people come to our house to help our "relationship" but she lied about everything and put on an act and pissed me off! She constantly says "im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry" and if i tell her something that she did wrong like "mom, you put dave's clothes in my room" she'll start crying like i yelled at her which i didnt! its so annoying! Then when she getting ready to take me to school she waits untill 5 minutes till we have to leave to get ready when she knows it takes her 15 minutes just to go to the bathroom...it makes me mad. Then when im driving she gets upset when im passing a car on the "passing lane" and tells me that the speed limit here is 55 and its like i just want to strangle her!
There are a ton more annoying things about her but i don't want to be to revealing on my first post. lol
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Hi! [22 Mar 2004|09:31pm]

Hi all....I thought I'd join this very cool community because my mum is more insane than I am. But only slightly. Right, now for the customary anecdote...last night a few of my friends were over our flat- I left them alone with my mum for a few mintues, and when I got back she was telling them stories about communist Poland and gesturing with a plastic construction worker hat that she got the night before at a frat party. Not only that, but she also threatened to bring out the baby pictures of myself at three years old, all of which she has captioned with swear words I didn't know at the time, plus drawn-on mustaches.
Mothers and baby pictures and your friends in the same room....not good. I'm sure other people can sympathise with me on this.
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[22 Mar 2004|08:02pm]

I'll kick off a first post here by telling you something nice my mother did today. Nyssa was home this week for March Break and while she was here, Mom ordered her hockey play-off tickets on her credit card. According to Nyssa's latest LJ post, her grandmother has kindly said that she isn't asking to be paid for the tickets.

Am wondering if I should let Nyssa know about this community so she can come and vent about me? Naaaahhh, I think not. :)
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My mother is lovely [22 Mar 2004|06:32pm]

[ mood | *squee* ]

She got back from Russia today and brought back so much wonderful stuff - music, sweets, books, movies. Well, okay, she bought only a small portion of it herself, but the fact that she was ready to carry it is very squeeful.

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[22 Mar 2004|01:12pm]

Yay! Natalie's my hero!

Anyway-I'm at a residential boarding school, and this weekend is family weekend. Mother is coming up-I'm head stage manager of our musical, which is happening, so most of the time she'll be with other parents. I don't really mind spending time with her when I'm not backstage calling the show, but. But but but (there always seems to be a but with mothers, doesn't there?) Sunday afternoon she's taking me and my boyfriend out around town and to dinner. They've never met, and he's marvelous, but she's wary and overprotective.

Any pointers to help make their first meeting and the evening overall run smoothly?
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Welcome! [22 Mar 2004|01:02pm]

This is the obligatory first post that will also help us tinker with the layout.

Last night it occurred to me that venting about mothers could be much more satisfying if it took the form of a support group, with people chiming in to share their own horror stories (and good stories too). Hence this community.

Please read the userinfo before posting, even though it's all basic stuff. Your mods are cheekyweebisom and alpheratz.

Have fun!

teh mod
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